ANOTHER TOPS TRIP TO OLLON-VILLARS
20th & 21st September, 2003
By Martin Morris who says he can only remember his own experiences!
Trisha’s newsletter whetted our appetite for a return to O-V with no less than 30 splendid TOPS cars entered.
We arrived in the paddock at 5.45 to find most members had already left for our Free 5* Hotel du Parc. We just squeezed Humphrey into a single remaining miniscule car space, where we totally ‘stuffed’ the owners of the cars on either side by filling the spaces with Quick-Lift, 4 x 5 gallon drums of methanol, trolley jack, fibre board box, spares box, tool case, spare wheels, tyres, can of oils, funnels, aerosols, helmet and overalls etc., etc.
I got signed-on, a great bag of goodies, numbers, roundels, posters, anoraks, Road Map shirts and Fleeces, Freebies etc. to take-up still more space, not to mention H’s rolled up under-cover and over-cover. I found a ‘scroot’/member of the police who showed no interest in anything important but kindly wrote his signature on our scrutineered sticker.
We went through the usual start-up pantomime, co-opted two unsuspecting helfers to give us a wheel-start and Humphrey fired up on the second push. Changed to hard plugs and it was soon time to drive up to the Start Line. I had Jost (ERA R4a) behind me and a 4 CLT Maser’ in front. The Start Marshall waved us straight through – no need to make a racing start. Old Humph’ was on great form and I gave him full wellie on the straight bits. Quite glad to reach Huemoz where we had to observe the 40 km speed limit. I slowed right down for a rest and Jost closed up. We made it safely to the top and received frantic slow down waves as we entered Villars at well over a ton.
This year every competitor was directed to the Finish Parc Fermé. Motos, Racing cars, Sports cars etc. given a free drink and general hospitality. Even Bonhams were offering FREE water! A long wait while all cars came up the hill/ lots to see/ lots of chats.
When we were allowed to go I drove Humphrey down in gear/ engine running / mostly fuel off / closed throttle / admiring the scenery and trying to memorise the course. Back in the special paddock my ‘place’ had been taken but the ‘canopy’ to the Wilson’s hospitality suite cum TOPS relaxing area was EMPTY so I drove straight in. Paul, Richard and Trisha soon took the spaces behind me. V nice to be in the shade and it was soon time to change back to warm-up plugs in readiness for our 2nd run. Richard whispered ‘You’re not going to start that thing up in here are you ‘Oh’ I said, ‘don’t worry, I’ll put the silencer on and keep him running gently. There will be no more noise than a touring car’. I started Humph’ and immediately he created a SMOKE SCREEN of Castrol R stinking exhaust. Oh well I thought – only one thing to do. I’ll give him a quick blip-up to clear his throat. By now all the tables and chairs had been abandoned by the TOPS members and guests. Humphrey’s blip-up OBLITERATED the scene and he’d dropped one or two plugs with intermittent explosions which caused the already damaged silencer to explode and spread carbonised pieces of its stuffing to join the stinking atmosphere. Richard was white with rage and told me they had paid a ‘LOT of money’ to have the hospitality area. I’d already been warned by Tania and Erika that “Mother will go “BALLISTIC” if you start up the ERA in here!” Oh dear. I realised then that coming down hill all 8 kms with the throttle shut had created a vacuum in the blower and inlet manifold and combustion chambers all of which had sucked in oil and created a holocaust.
Next morning we went down to Ollon and a very serious Pep-Talk by Philippe Sauge the chief organiser, who told us all to SLOW DOWN and use some sense after yesterday’s 6 accidents (by the ‘moderns’) which called into jeopardy the whole future of this fun event.
The 1st runs were good and only one biker fell off. I was caught out by very late warning of our advanced start-time – no plugs changed/ no overalls/ shoes/ gloves/ helmet/ goggles etc. I was greatly helped by Bos (having his first main outing since his problems) and Jane and just got my run all on my own with helmet and shoes undone etc.
Another good chat and lunch of wurstburgers at the top; then back for our final runs. This time I was a bit better organised but almost last in the programme. A lovely drive up and entered Villars at nearly 6000 revs. Then there were no Marshalls to wave us into the finish paddock. I couldn’t find it! Went round the town 3 times. Eventually I decided there was only one thing to do – go out the far end of town and back to Ollons via Bex. This turned out the best drive of the holiday. Still with his racing plugs in, I kept Humphrey stirred up all the way down this magnificent mountain descent and eventually re-joined the Martigny to Aigle valley road. Dead flat and very fast. Fingers crossed that my 5 ½ gallons of remaining Meths wouldn’t run out I took Humphrey up to over 5000 on his 4 to 1 axle in top – somewhere around 120 mph, and back to our Paddock ahead of everyone else!
Richard and Trisha had laid on a special farewell dinner at the Parc. Good fun.
Returned via Paris and joined up with Nashers, Bikers, Bentley Dealers etc. at the docks who were returning from Angoulême. Our afternoon boat left and after some 3 hours a horrible smell of burning became apparent. Soon there was an announcement by ‘Your Captain’ to say there was a FIRE on the car deck and we were turning round to head back to Le Havre. Some time later another announcement told us the fire was now under control. We were turning round again for Portsmouth and would the owners of car numbers B.E.L(?) and A.B.C (?) please report to the info desk. Both numbers sounded familiar and old. We glanced at our Nash Gang and could see Bryan White and John Sheard standing up – looking serious. Sure enuf, when they returned it was Brian’s car almost completely burnt out and John’s nearest Nash severely singed. Wot did the Nash gangsters do? Call for champagne and drown their sorrows in a real good piss-up.
Thanks Trisha – a really good fun event and the first time all five Pilkingtons raced five cars at the same event.
Ollon-Villars TOPS Team Ollon-Villars Report 2002 and pictures!
Plenty of 2003 excellent photos by Road Map –
the event sponsor – www.roadmap.ch (sponsorship)
Sorry about the lack of pictures – still having a problem
getting them to show using XP and Office 2000 – if you know how to solve my
problem please email Trisha on Tops@topsclub.com. Thank you! (I can put them up using a hyperlink but
they don’t show unless you click on them – very irritating as they were OK with
Office 98!)